Thursday, April 08, 2004
*nurul
i hate the nites
i dread nite time
i dread sleeping.
the nites just dun make anithing easier for me.
as tired as i am.
i just dowanna sleep.
becuz in the dae if i think of him, i can reprimand myself.
but at nite, if he appear in my dreams, i cant stop it. at all.
and den it just depresses me even more the next morning.
i will wanna cry
becuz in the dreams, he will be so damn sweet.
every single nite i've been dreaming of him.
cant it stop?
i din wanna get affected by him.
but now?
damn him.
why must you mean so much to me?
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
*nurul
No matter what I do
All I think about is you...
sighh. i lurfeee this song now. hahahax. damn. its so totally troo. 24/7. even when i'm exhaused till my brains are fried and when i made up my mind to NOT think abt him animore. he just has to appear in my dreams rite? two consecutive nites. it was such sweet dreams summore. sighh. woke up and nearly cried. WHY MUST BE SO DAMN SWEET?! its just a damn dream. DAMN.
// [ damn you. damn me. damn everyone. damn ME ] \\
Sunday, April 04, 2004
*nurul
last nite's campfire was a BLAST! and a huge success! it was sooo happening. it was soooooperb. i am really proud of our cohort. for putting up such a great show. kudos to all the sec 4s for all the hard work. although dere was a few glitches at the start, wad wif the fireball. fireballie gurlies [sioks,suiling,mayleng,lysia]! dun think too much abt it! not your fault okayyyy! den fast forward to after our performance, most of the sec 4s started crying and being emotional but was still as crazy and high and grinding like nobody's business. i am really gonna miss all the crappiness, lame jokes, dirty dancing, GRINDING!, raging hormones, luffters, EVERYTHING. i'm gonna miss every single one. if one was missing it wld feel incomplete. yet when i'm beginning to feel like i belong. we are gonna step down so soon. sighh. i am really gonna miss everyone and everything. been thru alot these 4 years yea?
backtracking to yesterdae morning. i just broke down? i dunnoo why. i haf no idea why. my mind was empty. my head hurt. i never felt this way before. NEVER. but i felt bad for this is our last campfire. OUR campfire. and i was in a depressed crazy mode. wad wif me suddenly crying and looking like a maniac whu had to be pulled around by wan pin. and wad wif suddenly squatting down and crying in the parade square in front of all the juniors. i had no idea why. all i noe was dat i felt horrible. i felt reallly horrible. it had nothing to do wif the campfire for sure. i love it to bits. really wanna thank all those whu were dere for me when i was in my dunnoo-wad-moments. wad wif serene and soo ying dancing like cute lil' maniacs hoping to cheer me up. but at least it made me luff momentarily rite! hahahax. and really thanks to all those who talked to me, hoping to comfort me. really helped me. and to seow kai lun for telling me to cry all i want. to let it all out. not to repress it in myself. she was rather scary yea? i mean i never seen her so i dunnoo? it was indescibable. and wad wif mrs goh being so funnie. she was talking to me, trying to find out wad was wrong. and she even wanted to feed me wif chocolate? hoping it wld help? hahahahah. so sooper funnae! quote "want me to drag you to the teachers room and feed you wif chocolate?" and she even said "this is not the nurul i usually see? this is someone else! wad is wrong??" she's so sooper funnae larh! but at least it helped a lil'. and thankew so muchie to my darleeng gurl fren wan pin. she followed me all around. and stuck to me like gloo. no matter how matter times i shout at her to leave me alone. she scolded me, she comforted me, she made me luff, she begged me. she did everything to cheer me up. she even followed me when i was wandering aimlessly hoping to find back the nurul i usually am. and even sat in the middle of the carpark wif me when i suddenly plonked myself dere. and when i just sat and closed my eyes. she just sat dere. waiting. thanks alot dearie. -beams- trooly my gurl frennnn! hahahx. and to all those whu helped me and talked to me. i cant possibly list everyone but yeahhh. thanks alot alot.
back to the lurfely campfire. had so much fun. dancing and grinding wif alicia, wan pin, sioks, may leng! and lots of others. and when we were clearing up and carrying the table down thru the landscape garden. we were screaming so much. just for the fun of SCREAMING. hahaahx. in the end, the nice nice gan eng seng scouts was like "ladies you need any help?" we had like 6 gurls carrying the table? dey needed 3 guys to carry it. damn. hahahhax. but oh wells. we were so tired from being in sch the wholeeee dae larh. wad you expect? wahahhax. but den again. i wanna sae I'M DAMN PROUD OF OUR COHORT! all the hard work din go to waste rite? in fact it was a huge success. i am really gonna miss all of you guys. sighh.
-*// CREZ GUIDES SEC 4 '04 RAWK! \\ - -beamsx-